A new way of working: "Work should be much more about expressing and developing yourself."
Our reporter Bibi Timmerman spoke with Carlijn Nelissen, who is on a mission to change the way we work and how we think about work.
Carlijn calls from her JEEP in Portugal. With a mattress and surfboard in the back, it's not just a JEEP: it's her part-time house and 'dream office’.
She likes to travel and live abroad. In 2016 she moved to Greece for work as a consultant, helping corporations to innovate. It started with 1 project, but within 1 year she built a local team there. And even though she thought that she made decisions in her best interest, matching her needs - doing work she loved and living by the sea - she got sucked in, it was too much to do all alone and she ended up with a burn-out.
Carlijn says. "I was caught up in a web of 'pleasing' and 'proving' which made me forget about my own needs. Being at the office from 9-5, having ‘x’ nr of sales meetings, and reporting that was time-consuming yet had little added value. I need my mornings to work undisturbed, and get the important stuff done before I leave the house. To take care of myself each morning with movement and meditation, before serving everybody else. Or being able to go for a walk or run to solve a tough problem. But it was dismissed as “extravagant” or something ‘’we don't have time for’’, by the company I worked for. They didn’t realize that this is about much more than just lounging around the beach. Because I’m much more productive when I do take that time.
"When the burn-out hit me, I promised myself to start making very rigorous choices; doing things I need to be my best, to feel centered. I've always been busy with personal development, since I was 21 or so, with therapy and psychologists and stuff. But that burnout was the result of how I was in my own way and how it, at one point, all imploded. That was a harsh, but good invitation to do things differently.”
She didn’t quit but received amazing support from her colleague Roos Hofland, and they continued to grow the business. Yet something didn’t feel right. It felt like it was never good enough. It clicked when a good friend challenged her and asked: “For who do you do all this?”. To her surprise, her drive was trying to prove to her bosses and realized I am never going to get the validation and appreciation I am looking for. In combination with other challenges in the company, they decided in good collaboration to close the local office 6 months later in a good way, both financially and for the team, and make it part of the Dutch agency.
And in January 2020, together with Elena Michalopoulou from her former team, they founded the ‘’On Purpose Studio’’.
And everything changed rapidly after that. “It was such a good reminder to love what I teach, and it has taken me on quite a ride,” she says, laughing.‘’Now I don't worry about the future too much. I have a clear vision in which I trust and focus on staying close to myself daily. When an opportunity comes along, I recognize immediately when it is the right one for me,”
“It can be very healing for people and boost their confidence to practice and get comfortable with uncertainty amidst the chaos. You can’t plan everything, you should have a future vision and then just focus on today. You have to learn to trust yourself.”
In 2020 you started your own company On Purpose - why?
I started thinking, where do you really make the difference within the corporations we collaborate? Culture change and innovation have a lot to do with reducing anxiety. Less ego, less fear: that's what I've had the most impact on my time as a consultant. So why don't we start a company where we focus purely on that, to make people aware of how much they are driven by fear, and then to unlearn those autopilot behaviors? With On Purpose we work on those themes and combine spirituality, business and science to overcome this self-created stress. In the beginning, we offered the programmes to different companies and their teams, but because of COVID19 we decided to turn it into an online program and switch from B2B to B2C. Unplanned, but turned out better than expected, it is so valuable to connect people from all over the world; from c-level executives, founders, and changemakers. Different titles, ages, cultures etc, and at the same time, all have so many similarities. Because the hopes, doubts, and fears we have are so human, so universal. And that awareness alone is so powerful and freeing.
How do you see the current way of working and how companies treat their staff? You start every day on the beach, but of course, that is not possible everywhere.
It’s not about the beach. I did the same in my small apartment in Amsterdam, or in my garden in Portugal. It’s about taking time to connect with yourself. And I think many people, especially with a knowledge profession can certainly organize their day more to their own needs. My bosses in The Netherlands had a different view than me. So, in the beginning, I just lied about my calendar: I had fake meetings early in the morning because then I could have time for myself without being disturbed. To use my full attention to get the right things done right. As the results were showing, I discussed with them what I need to perform well in my work. To have the freedom to do it my way.
I think that's a conversation that should be held at many companies. We need to talk much more about what value you add and much less about the time spent. "How long are you here?" That's such a silly question when you think about it. What’s painful is that some people work in a large corporation and don't even know what they're doing there, and what value they're adding to it. Employers need to clarify what really matters: is it the 8 hours you are here for? Or the quality of the work you produce? And the employee needs to ask himself: how can I make sure during the day that I can deliver that value? If you are in sales and you have a set target of 12 sales meetings per week, how much of that is effective? I was more and more tired and stressed when I went to all those meetings, rushing across Athens, while if I am super sharp in a meeting, maybe I don't need 3, but just 1 meeting to close the deal and instead of “chasing” prospects, perhaps I can also “attract” the right people by speaking at events or writing on Linkedin or building a newsletter following.
You mention how some companies have an obsession with controlling time, for example employees who have to ask permission to take time off for a dentist appointment.
Yes, it happens. It’s ridiculous. In my opinion, you really treat people like little children, but then those who can’t be trusted. They have to clock in, otherwise, it’s like they're not reliable and don't deliver their work. They're not FTEs who are gone in three hours, they're people. And if you simply agree with people that the work is always done, then it doesn't matter that you go to the dentist, because then your work is still done. But if you set up a company out of control, then it is suddenly three hours missed.
“The alternative is building a company based on trust; your company is not a machine, but a living organism. A group of people - a complex dynamic ecosystem - who also interact with their environment. Because the reality is much more complex than our rational plans and calculations.”
What change would you like to see in corporate structures? How can you make this practical?
It's about a shift in paradigm, from control-based to trust-based. Most companies are built on a foundation of control. They see a company as a machine that has to produce and generate money. The employees - seen as puppets - FTEs that have to run fast enough. When people are sick, you throw in some wellness events and resilience campaigns and that should do the job. A leader who is steering the machine has to be in control of everything, and everyone and makes all the important decisions. A bit unnuanced of course, but simply put, that's one way of looking at work. The alternative is building a company on a foundation of trust; your company is not a machine, but a living organism. A group of people - a complex dynamic ecosystem - who also interact with their environment. As a leader, you provide a clear future vision and facilitate the right conditions so that each individual can create a space & job where they flourish, and thus the company will too. The leader doesn’t take all the decisions, experts do in their own projects as part of realizing the future vision. Because reality is much more complex than rational plans and calculations. We can’t control and predict everything. Working together in self-organized ways, where people are committed to the company purpose, and trust is a given. And at its core it's about: What’s the meaning of work? The old paradigm of work is; we need to provide structure. People need money and people want structure in their lives because otherwise, they would just lounge about. The underlying worldview is that people are lazy and only motivated by money. They just have to perform tasks - not too difficult or with too many risks. That suited back then, but there is a shift in our consciousness from that “just do as you are told” mentality to a more self-leading approach where there is room for authenticity, creativity, and making. We can’t accept that old way of working anymore, that’s why our own systems are resisting it, and it shows up in the form of burn-outs and bore-outs. And in my opinion, work is much more about expressing and developing yourself, as well as confronting yourself, together with colleagues who provide you with mirrors to guide you to shift your blindspots. So it's important to ask ourselves, what is the purpose of work? What is the role of work in our lives?
At On Purpose Studio, we invite people to question which ripple effects they want to create in their own body, their own life, as well as in their natural environment. With each choice we either heal or feed inflammation, stress, harm, toxicity etc. We are all ingrained with beliefs and fears which can make us prefer to stay in our comfort zone, by choosing a job that is very to the point and clear. It can be very healing for people and boost their confidence to practice and get comfortable with uncertainty amidst the chaos. You can't plan everything; you should have a future vision and then just focus on today. You have to learn to trust yourself.”
Is there a place for spirituality in business?
To me, spirituality is just practising to connect with yourself, each day, some conscious moments. And therefore you can also connect better with others. Work can be a place where you can heal, develop and unfold yourself, where you can work on things that limit you. It can equally just be a place where we feed those fears and limitations. So when you talk about spirituality and business and the interface between them, on the one hand, there’s the role of people; what kind of place are you creating, is work a place where people can heal and excel or get sicker? And on the other hand, that output for the world; is that what you deliver as a company something that makes the world sicker or better? When we are connected to ourselves it is easier to choose intentionally, versus unknowingly, or ignore the damage we create.
Would things look very different if people and companies incorporated this mentality more?
Yes, absolutely! Just look at how things are done now in businesses. Now I can kind of laugh about it but it is not funny. We drive ourselves completely crazy by creating stress for ourselves and to each other. ‘’I have to have this thing now, or this needs to be done by 08:00 tomorrow.’’ We can practice to set clear boundaries. Or to understand why this is going wrong, why is this request so last minute, why prior arrangements weren’t transparent or what in our process is so inconvenient. I think the workplace produces a lot of unnecessary self-created stress. And I enjoy it so much when being together with teams in our “99 problems wall” workshop, to identify what’s not working, and practice dialogue techniques to resolve most of the issues within an afternoon. It’s so empowering.
What is the larger purpose of On Purpose?
It consists of creating a movement of people who live & lead on purpose, wholeheartedly. Who are aware of the ripple effects they create with their habits, choices, and even just their presence. Our state of being, our energy, is contagious; if I start yelling at you now, there's a good chance you'll lash out at someone else sometime later in the day. So it’s about taking responsibility for the energy you bring into a room. And that’s connected to how you respond in situations, how you organize your day, and fulfill your own needs. Feeling good, or at peace, will not only affect your choices that have an impact on your health but also on your environment. When you feel content, then you just have less need for materialistic things. Living more from the heart helps get our priorities in life right.
How do you deal with the major problems that are going on in the world? How do you stay so positive with all this negative news we hear?
I stopped watching the news about eight years ago. I do have my channels where I follow the news, of course, but I choose them very consciously. Because I noticed that it very much instills fear and fear paralyzes you. So even though it can be so heartbreaking, there's not much you can do about it. On the other hand, it inspires me a lot when I see people who work to change it and make a difference. There are so many different problems in the world. If you delve into everything and start to feel guilty for everything, nothing happens, you don't create or solve anything. It’s better to just choose one problem, to which you are very passionate and committed. And focus on that every day.
Are you saying that the more negativity you let in, of those issues, the more you become paralyzed and the less energy you have to deal with them with purpose?
Yes, exactly. Because it becomes the glasses through which you view the world, so you're going to see problems, fear, doubt, and worry everywhere. Because that’s what the news is: problems, problems, problems. While if you focus on the many solutions created around you, you will be much more inspired and creative. You start to see how solutions that work in that sector or in that country can be applied elsewhere for example. It’s so beneficial to learn about how others solve problems. This needs to be made more visible, small and big acts of change. To see that in the dark, there is also light. Things that are going well, people who are doing well and are full of joy. Because it rubs off on you.
Organizing your own day is at the core of your work, like the DESIGN YOUR DAY ON PURPOSE - course. Can you tell us about it?
What we do in a day matters. It’s easy to create a rushed, stressed, frustrating, tiring day. And I am on a mission to show that we can equally easily create a good day. To feed your well-being, impact & joy daily. How? By setting the right conditions for you to work at your best, take care of yourself, and spend time with those who truly matter to you. To unlearn overthinking, to practice being guided by our heart in daily decisions. When it comes to well-being, I have learned a lot from my upbringing. My parents have always included spirituality in how they organize their day. My mom was a Nutritionist for athletes and both my parents are committed to their sports every day (now 66 and 72 still the same). So that was very central in our family.
So on the one hand, I wanted to highlight integrating good food & movement into your day. And on the other hand, different ways of working, connecting to yourself, communicating from the heart, blocks of focus, solving problems, finding more meaning in your day, and having a clear future vision.
I want to counter what you see a lot now; the checklist mentality. ‘’I got up at five and then I did this, 10 minutes of this, 10 minutes of that. Check, check, check: off the to-do list. Controlling, planning. Routine is useful and good, there are some things you need to do every day. But the intention with which you do it is what makes the difference between a stressful morning routine & a healing one. The to-do list is again about reaching targets and goals and missing the point.
For me, it is that combination of taking responsibility and then creating freedom. So if my results are good, does it matter how or from where I produced them? To feel free within your work, whether that's within someone else’s company or your own. Make time for what matters to you daily, like breakfast with the family or going for a surf or taking a nap. Wouldn’t it be great if everyone lived like that?!
“Whatever it is, whether it concerns business, or whether it is making the world a bit more beautiful in terms of the environment; the connection with yourself is actually the starting point for all change. If you want to make a company meaningful, you can only do so when you are truly in contact with yourself.”
What is the best advice you can give to businesses and people?
Whatever it is, whether it concerns business, our relationships, or whether it is making the world a bit more beautiful in terms of the environment; the connection with yourself is actually the starting point for all change. Whatever you intend to change, you can only do so when you are truly in contact with yourself.
Learn more about On Purpose Studio: on-purpose.studio | Photo credits: Rosa van der Wal
